Chuck Norris Facts
Sunday, January 6, 2008

So I've decided to compile 20 of the most hilarious Chuck Norris Facts that can be found on the net. For those of you who didn't know what Chuck Norris Facts are, I'll give you a hint; it's a set of facts that makes Chuck Norris look like a total idiot, or an uber superhuman (depends on the way how you look at it). This is a picture of him:



Chuck Norris' Official Homepage

Here goes:

20 of The Most Hilarious Chuck Norris Facts (drumrolls):

  1. Chuck Norris can count to infinity, TWICE.
  2. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
  3. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
  4. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
  5. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
  6. Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
  7. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
  8. Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
  9. When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
  10. If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
  11. Chuck Norris can be divided by zero.
  12. A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words.
  13. When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
  14. For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
  15. In the beginning there was nothing. Then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
  16. Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
  17. Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
  18. James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
  19. Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
  20. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
There you go boys and girls. For more facts, visit Chuck Norris Facts. Have a good laugh!

That's all folks!

Posted byAizad at 5:06 PM  

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2 comments:

Miss Z.A said... January 7, 2008 at 4:52 AM  

I'm sure someone was pulling a prank on him.

Aizad said... January 7, 2008 at 6:12 AM  

omg.. u THINK?? :P

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